Things that Fly!

My alarm sounds this morning and the first thing that pops into my head is a question of whether or not my existence is contributing to the wholesale destruction of the universe. Wait. Universe is too big. I guess in the physical sense my life is ineffectual and meaningless, (there are hundreds of billions of stars in our galaxy alone, many of which probably have planets like our own with similar species who idly contemplate) (I'm a geek) (always remember we're average). But when I think universe I think everything that could possibly effect my life, all of the inputs. I think of how this feedback system of shitty input and absent output is a horrible design of our culture. It is bulk, homogeneous, mass distributed culture. It is a direction for a large unthinking flock. And I am a sheep.

I am trapped in formalist thought, fire escapes blocked with routine, habit, and social pressure to stay inline and obedient to a system that leaves me helplessly cold. Artificially warm emotions only generated by television sitcoms and greeting cards. And I want to change. I want the rage in me to split me open and spill all over this neat stack of shit that is in fact so heartlessly messy. I just wish there were more people to share actual emotions with and not simply gossip. I am bitter that I am advertised a smiling beautiful girl, a nice car and a happy life...But in fact none of that exists. I am angry that such images have been paired with commercial advertising campaigns and I am now forced to painstakingly separate my hatred of commercial materialism propaganda from heartwarming loving family.

Most of all I seriously hate how the thought of all this is seriously affecting my sex life. I hate how this isn't a topic you laugh over coffee about, and then casually send invitation. I passionately hate the formalism that is actually in place to govern relationships and sexuality in a pop-culture environment. Coffee. Dating. Sex. Fighting. Make-up sex. Fighting. Cheating. Sex. Breaking up. Getting back together. Sex. Cheating. Marriage. Children. Divorce. I'm bored of writing about this.

posted by Rob and Lauren @ 9:08 PM