Things that Fly!

Abyss

I'm listening to 'Are you sad?' by Our Lady Peace, eating a homemade chocolate chip cookie, reading the definition of cynical from Webster's. (Cynical--believing that people are motivated in all their actions only by selfishness: denying the sincerity of people's motives and actions)

Hypothetical situation: You have the choice to feel a single unchanging emotion forever, or to feel no emotion at all. What's your choice?

I think about each day as a fall from grace, as a realization of my disillusionment of this world. I think that today is the day I will rise up and start taking back the world. This is all premature though, and I know things have to get much worse before I take the world back, before I'm motivated to make more than hopelessly marginal advances.

And so I think what would motivate me to change my life drastically?

I worked today for 2 hours before being sent home. Things have been really slow, and despite being hired for full-time; next week I am only scheduled for 25 hours (today I was supposed to be scheduled for 6). They're overstaffed. My manager suggested I talk to the owner. The owners made 15000 dollars last night over the dinner rush. Yesterday I served them. It's bad enough that my section is so small because so many people are on, but they have to sit in my section. Then they want to be served. But they don't want anything from the menu, and so I have to write down detailed instructions on how the cooks should prepare their lunch and then explain it to them (while I have other tables waiting that will actually tip me). They stay for hours, and leave nothing, and drive off in their Jaguars. I feel like they don't care. I know they don't care, because it's cheaper to force me out of a job or fire me and embrace high turn-over because they have so much money they can push me over with.

And I hate this attitude. I hate their fake smiles. I hate the fake smiles I smile back and the smug looks of shock from them when my face lets contempt slip through, and they are surprised I am not content with their belittlement. I most of all hate the idea that they think they'll make enough money to live forever, and that the people they're living with right now don't matter. I hate that this is a small corporation and of little influence, yet still displaying all the behaviors of the full-sized monsters.

This whole situation fills me with a potent rage. I hate working for them. I wish I could turn this around. I think; I can?

Oh yeah, I like BP girl again.

posted by Rob and Lauren @ 11:56 PM