Cold Hope
I have this tendency to keep things in until they pour out of me. And I want to write out all the things that bother me, that I hate. But instead these sores build until they are a festering mess upon my mind, and all I am possessed of is a passionate loathing for people, culture, and my surroundings. And I peel that layer off my onioned life to find a new skin even more opposed than the last. And I like it. I can see it taking me somewhere. I can see change. And the hardest part is peeling the mess away and finding the fight. Finding the quiet note of rage, that makes no sound but tears everything down. And I have more to learn about myself and about the world before that happens. As much as I don't feel happy about things, I know I've come a long way and that progress has been fast in this toxic culture that pretty much inhibits any unique or truly rebellious emotions. It has, as always, been a fight for my mind-- to steal a phrase from Ben Harper.
posted by Rob and Lauren @ 11:36 PM
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