So there were 5 guys on stage. They were amazing. I think that about most live music, unless they suck. However, these guys were great. They got me thinking about music's position in our culture. I'm not talking about that pop-culture-hilary-duff-britney garbage, I'm talking about music where you can see the musicians passion. The bar was empty, there was seriously more people on stage than people watching. Despite this the band played with such passion. I watched in amazement wondering how many years each member had spent developing their skills. And watching them play for the four of us, it's not hard see how they don't really play for anyone but themselves. It's love I think I saw tonight, could only be love. It's not witty commentary between characters in a staged sitcom, but I would graciously spend hours of my day in front of that kind of entertainment than glued to a television. I couldn't understand why the bar wasn't filled with a similarly open jawed audience.
Danny broke up with his girlfriend tonight. It wasn't a healthy relationship. Sitting there watching the band play he tells me that he's hurtin'. I think instantly of a novel I read by Nick Hornby which was made into a pitiful movie, High Fidelity. The protagonists girlfriend breaks up with him because he doesn't want to commit to marriage. Immediately after this break up the protagonist asks himself a series of questions. "Who am I going to have sex with next?". "Do I know this person?". "Is it a friend of a friend?". It's not that he's a shallow guy. It's just the first thing that crosses his mind. Relationships end up being so much more than their definitive biological purpose. But maybe flashed before your eyes you'll wonder why it is you ever got together and see something that doesn't really make as much sense as you thought. Beautiful complications line every corner. And when you thoughtfully look back on them you'll see a lot more than just sex.
I don't know why I'm sharing this so liberally, and I'm sure Danny would appreciate some respect in this matter... But I also know he likes what he reads so I'll go on.
Danny talked to me about sex with his girlfriend a lot. I guess maybe that's why High Fidelity crossed my mind tonight. Danny talked about a lot of other things regarding his relationship with his girlfriend but none as interesting. And I don't mean to gossip, I'm trying to make a point. He loved her. I saw the same passion in him about his girlfriend that I saw between the guitarist and his guitar. It wasn't something he articulated well (and Danny is quite articulate), but everything he told me inspired me. The beginning. The Bliss. The end of the honey moon. Hardship. Hope. Doubts. The idea that love could be temporary finally taking hold, and the end. It didn't last for all eternity but it was still beautiful. It followed a familiar pattern (I guess there is only a choice of unending or ending when it comes to relationships, and if you have to consciously choose unending than you're really headed in the same direction as ending). Danny's relationship had all the elements you would expect, but never really find in real life. I don't know anyone besides Danny who has actually had a relationship like that. It wasn't perfect but it was real life. This deserves to be said again. It wasn't perfect but it was real life. In as much as I didn't envy the chaotic stories of up and down, or the sometimes cliche ideas of romance, I very much envied Danny's attitude of hope and practice of spoken theories.
I think I've said too much of nothing without enough meaning. I think you get what I'm saying anyways Danny. I know it's a shitty deal, and you feel like an asshole in combination with your own feelings of loss, but try and think of whole relationship instead of just the end. And of course know that I have so much respect for you and your ability to live actions and not words.
posted by Rob and Lauren @ 1:41 AM
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