Things that Fly!

Animal Monster

I'm Listening to a song called "Jumanji" by Animal Monster. It's the first real electronica song I've listened to and it's cast a spell on me. The extraneous beats are rumbling through my head and I feel more like a robot than a human being. But I feel alive.

Today a few girls sat down at one of my tables. They were all pretty gorgeous, and so my usual walls of intimidation came up. After serving them their drinks and meals as casually and unnerdily as possible I proceeded to clear their plates. I had seen them giggling and whispering as I walked by and checked on them while they were eating and so I wondered if my nervous demeanor was humourous. Then as I was clearing their plates one of them asked me if anyone had ever left me their phone number on the back of the bill. I answered quite stunned that nobody had done that yet. Not meaning to sound pretentious, but otherwise insighting more giggling. After they had paid (tipped 10 bucks!) I went back to their table and lifted the bill and on the back was a name and phone number.

I threw the bill out. I would be tempted to phone, but at the same time I don't think I handle rejection well--which is probably why I've isolated myself so well in life. It bothers me that something like that makes me feel good, a little confident. But I guess thats not bad. I suppose what bothers me about it is that it forces me to realize how fragile a self-image I have. I don't think it should take a bunch of giggling girls for me to think that I'm a beautiful person worthy of gratuitious attention. And what I'm saying doesn't sound very modest here, but I know for the most part I hold a pretty negative image of myself.

I don't really know what to do about that? Suggested Therapies? Want ad reads: "Shy waiter seeks beautiful girl to serve food and flirtation".

posted by Rob and Lauren @ 9:45 PM