Things that Fly!

Consumed

At the beginning of the summer I remember thinking about how I would feel when I went back to school in September. At that time only word could characterize my prediction-- "proud". I would be so proud that, I had travelled by myself, held down a job I didn't particularly like, met the girl of my dreams, bought an iBook, travelled with the girl of my dreams, and the kicker--saved enough to be able to afford to go back to school and move out. After all that I figured it would have set myself free from any restricting thoughts, and that I would have freed myself from any doubts about how ambitious or capable I was.

Lately I feel like I want just too much. I think a lot of it has to do with school, but I just feel like I'm rushing through everything/ Yesterday Lauren and I went and took pictures. When we got home she wanted to go look at the pictures right away (her enthusiasm is cute and infectious), but instead I suggested we get supper and dessert started right away so that we would have enough time to watch a movie afterwards and have me home early enough to get a good nights sleep. I had to this morning.

I know that putting off looking at pictures may not seem like a big deal, but it's really only an example. I just feel like I put off doing the things I'm passionate about because I'm paranoid that the necessary things that I'm not passionate about will never get done. Does that make sense? It doesn't make sense to me, because I never used to be this anal. I need to find ways to be more spontaneous, and accepting of change. I think that we could all use a stronger dose of spontaneity and change in our lives to stop us from falling into routines where no new discorveries about life are made.

Sigh, back to the books and to my pleasure delaying tactics.

posted by Rob and Lauren @ 9:38 PM